The Fifth Yama (or external discipline towards optimal health) is called Aparighara- Nonpossessiveness

I once read a book by Gary Zukov titled, Spiritual Partnernship. The message was that having a spiritual partnership means to be so committed to being authentic to who you are, to be so honest with yourself and your partner, that you will risk losing the relationship.

In other words, to be willing to risk disappointing another, by being true to yourself. It’s having faith and trust in the relationship that there is enough respect, unconditional love and acceptance to support one another for who each one of you are, and where each one is in this journey called life.

Yes, this takes courage and a commitment to self.

I’m reminded of the movie, “City Slickers” where Billy Crystal is having a midlife crisis and his wife supports his trip to a dude ranch to find himself.

How do we reduce suffering? We learn to let go of our attachments, to greed, clinging, coveting. In doing so, we find freedom within our self and within our relationships.

When we practice Bramacharya and Aparighara, we discover how to live in the present moment where we nourish our relationships and ourselves. It is learning to accept things the way they are in each moment; to let go of our expectations and criticisms so that we can fully absorb each experience without fear, without judgments.

It is the first part of the serenity prayer: 
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
Courage to change the things I can, 
And wisdom to know the difference.” 

How do we create more peace in our lives? We let go of our need to control the outcome. We learn to trust our self and others.

Like the song we sang at my high school graduation:

“Rivers belong where they can ramble, Eagles belong where they can fly. I’ve got to be where my spirit can run, free, Gotta find my corner of the Sky!”

Can you practice letting go of unhealthy attachments and expectations? 

This does not mean not caring; it is just the opposite. This means trusting and loving enough to allow for individual freedom and respect. To seize the day so you can truly be present for any situation.

In both my personal life and in my practice, I’ve learned that I have to let go of my need to “fix others”. First this denotes that they are somehow broken (and this is inaccurate), and second it creates stress for both my family, patients, clients and myself.

Often the more material things we accumulate, the more stress we have in maintaining them. How can we find more peace and balance? We can let go of our attachments to things and practice non-excess and non possessiveness. This is Aparighara.

Notice what gives you pleasure and what feels like bondage. How can you lighten your load to experience the freedom to fly like an eagle?

The Yamas are referred to as external disciplines, giving us guidance on how to communicate with the world around us. The Niyamas are referred to as internal disciplines. Stay tuned for next week when I start to share the 5 Niyamas with you.

Carpe Diem & Namaste,

Lisa

About Lisa Jackson, RN, CHC, RYT-500

Lisa is an author, inspirational speaker, and coach with a mission to inspire and empower others to feel their best at any age. She is also Executive Director of the Integrative Wellness Program for the Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders.  

Her book, Savvy Secrets: Eat, Think & Thrive outlines seven steps that are fun and transforming. Lisa is part of the New Self Health Movement, the International Health Coach Association and the Wellness Inspired Network. When she is not coaching, speaking or writing, you can find her practicing yoga and joyfully sharing Carpe Diem Dance at every opportunity.