I’ve had several opportunities that remind me of the
challenge to face our own fears and the power of a meditation and spiritual
practice. Whether we are struggling from
chronic pain, a life threatening illness, or simply the courage to change, we
all experience fear. Unchecked fear is
self-sabotaging at best, and worse case, can be incapacitating.
This weekend I felt a sadness that I had difficulty putting
my finger on or explaining why. This
morning I allowed myself time and introspection to explore this. I recently attended my daughters best friends
wedding, a wedding celebration that was so beautifully and generously given by
a large extended catholic family who like many families appear to be filled
with good fortune, good looks, good incomes and close family relations. Knowing something of this family for the past
22 years, I know that they are like every other family or individual, not
without their many trials and tests, not without times of sadness, doubt and
fear. But this weekend was a celebration
of hope, love and joy, the essence of what sustains us during our times of
doubt and fear.
So today I have given myself the time and the gift to
continue to read Healing Essence, The
Proven Path to Wellness by Mitchell Gaynor, M.D. and Medical Director,
Cornell Center for Complementary and Integrative Medicine. I was also gifted by two phone calls that
came out of the blue at the exact right time.
First from one of my coaches, a peer coach from Institute of Integrative
Nutrition who encouraged me not to give up on my chosen path and journey or
which I have had many doubts and fears this summer (ever since Dana’s
Oncologist gave us his statistics on her prognosis, statistics that breed doubt
and fear and despair).
The second call was from another coach and sponsor in my own
recovery program who happened to call after about an hour of my own ESSENCE
meditation. I was able to share with her
some of my sadness and tears that I felt and to talk about where they are
coming from. How my doubts and fears
keep me paralyzed from moving forward.
How sitting with and accepting and acknowledging the sadness has opened
up the opportunity for conversation, for productive learning. I am recognizing how my own fears of not
being good enough keep me frantically looking outside of myself for the answers. I so intuitively titled my blog Healing from Within and yet I continue
to look outside of my mind, body and house for the solutions. For instance, this past week I met with two
different compounding pharmacies, read another book on amino supplementation
and spoke with a Medical Doctor about my clients and my daughter and what
supplements and cellular renewal products I should be recommending. I spend hours researching to discover the
“right recommendations” that I might give, as if it is my responsibility alone
to “fix, heal and cure”. I needed this
reminder that I am a coach, I am human and I do not, nor never will, have all
of the answers. But most importantly,
the answers to our own self-healing and health are inside of us each moment of
each day.
To quote Dr. Gaynor, “Doubt has become a habit for most of
us. Bad habits, like cancers, can
multiply out of control if not checked. This is why meditation is so
important. When you can make a habit of
trusting your essence, even when doubt is present, an inner peace can be
maintained throughout adversity. It is
all a matter of living in the moment and being conscious of what is internal
and what is external. Then you may
choose to trust what is inside rather than doubt what is outside. You can doubt only when your awareness is in
the past or the future. When your
awareness is in the moment, no matter what you are doing becomes a meditation
in itself.” Remember in the Karate Kid movie, “Wax on, Wipe off”?
“That is why now-this very moment-is synonymous with
eternity. When you are aware of your
essence, you can always only be in the moment….”
“By maintaining the intention to experience your essence and
its truth, you bring forth your ability to experience healing, abundance, and a
deep sense of your own worth in all situations.” When you begin to see your obstacles and
misconceptions as opportunities for growth, you begin to understand the
Buddhist saying, “The greater the hindrance, the greater the enlightenment.”
The depression that can arise from adversity, illness, and loss can thus be
seen as stepping-stones along your own path for healing.”
In that case I should
be quite enlightened by now!!
As I was working through the meditation to releasing sadness
and melancholy I realized that first I need to release the fear (and the self-doubt
that perpetuates the fear). I realized
that I am asking others to believe as I do in the idea of healing from within,
but that I have not practiced this myself to overcome my own limitations that
are keeping me stuck.
Here is the exercise that Dr. Gaynor outlines:
Begin with the breathing exercise.
1.
EXPERIENCE:
Experience exactly where in your
body you feel your fear (or pain). Feel
its exact location, size, shape, color and temperature. Visualize this as energy. Pick only one area of your body at a time.
2.
SEE: Visualize the light of your essence
located above the top of your head.
3.
SURRENDER:
Surrender your fear to the
higher power of your essence by visualizing its energy being released upwards
into the light of your essence.
4.
EMPOWER:
Empower and strengthen this
healing by recalling your essence. Feel this as warm, healing light, which you
can direct with each in-breath, into the area you are working on.
5.
NURTURE:
Nurture the idea of a life free of fear.
6.
CREATE:
Create a space for your higher
power to continue to guide you by visualizing a channel through which the light
of your essence can continue to flow in and the negativity you are working with
can flow out.
7.
EMBODY:
Embody and externalize this
healing by visualizing the light of your essence flowing into each cell of your
body.
Carpe Diem, Seize the Day, and this moment. Lisa
