The Superwoman Complex. I talk about this in my intro to the Kick-Start program and my Seven Steps to Optimal Health.
A manicurist told me 20 years ago, “Lisa you have the biggest case of Superwoman than anyone I’ve ever met.” This was from a business owner/manicurist who has seen and worked with a lot of woman. She was more like a therapist than a manicurist and she stunned me.
I see so many possibilities, I see so much that I want to do and I try and do it all and be all to all people. What happens when you’re giving, giving, giving without the equal balance of receiving? You lose yourself. You lose connection with self and the people you love, and want to connect with.
Another wise woman said to me years ago, “Lisa you can have it all, you just can’t have it all at the same time.” That really made me mad, what did she mean? I had this deep down belief that life is short and I only have so much time on this earth, so I want to live every moment of it. When I was doing business development and sales there was a “work hard and play harder” mentality. Growing up in Washington DC with the overachievers, the message was, “no pain, no gain”. Somehow we had to be self-sacrificing to get to where we want to go and that somehow it has to be hard or it’s not worth it. It’s been drilled in us for so many years. Where is the ease and grace in this?
Deepak Chopra, MD says that the fastest way to a heart attack is to think, “There’s never enough time.” This has been my mantra for years! Ugh, if I only had enough time, I would do this or that! If I had a break or extra time and just whittled it away by doing something like watching a bad movie, or nothing, I would beat myself up and ask why didn’t I get all of these other things done that I had on my plate?
The real question is why do we fill ourselves with so many things “to do”? Could this be a diversion? Could this be a roadblock or self-sabotage? To avoid digging deep into what is it that you really really want?
I started my Introduction to Kick-Start asking this question, for whenever you decide on a kick-start program whether it is now or the spring, summer or fall, ask yourself, “How do you really really want to feel?” Because when you can answer that question, you can really begin to create the vision for real transformational change. This takes some time and commitment to self to create the space and time that you need, just for YOU, to get there. Not doing for everybody else, but just being there for you and allowing yourself to take that long deep inhale and hold it, and then an even longer exhale, so you can begin to feel the (timeless) spaces.
Often it is the transition time, the space between the events that allow you to fully feel, breathe and find the freedom that we are all looking for. Freedom from fear, freedom just to be; to get so grounded that it doesn’t matter what’s going on around us so that we can feel whole and joyful. This feeling transcends with the right energy into everything else that you do, from your relationships with your family to your community, but it has to start with you first. What self-care will you commit to to free yourself from the Superwoman complex today?
ABOUT LISA JACKSON, RN, CHC, RYTLisa is an author, inspirational speaker, retired RN, Certified Health Coach and Yoga Teacher. Her book, Savvy Secrets: Eat,Think & Thrive; Seven Steps to Optimal Health, is a self health book to enable healing from within. Her goal is to inspire wellness and to help others look and feel their best at any age. Lisa is part of the New Self Health Movement, the International Health Coach Association, and the Wellness Inspired Network. She is the mother of four adult children, a Grandmother, and believes that optimal health should not be a secret! When she is not coaching, speaking and writing, you can find her practicing yoga and joyfully sharing Carpe Diem Dance at every opportunity.